Feeling alone...

Do you ever get the feeling that you are completely alone in this world? Have you ever felt so extremely insignificant? Lately I have been feeling extremely lonely. And my family has not been helping matters. You see, my sister just had a baby. And she has everything that she has ever wanted. And she has everything that she's ever dreamed she would have. She has a husband (that she says is great... I don't like him, but I'm not married to him, so it doesn't matter). She has an adorable two-year-old little boy and now a gorgeous little 3-day-old girl. And she's only 30.

I'm only 28. When my sister was my age, she was already married for 5 years and had a three-month-old baby. And I can't seem to find a guy. Because I can't meet a guy in real life, I've been on match.com and now christianmingle.com. And I still can't find a guy. Guys check out my profile and never do anything about it. It makes me start to wonder what is wrong with me. Why they don't want me. Am I too boring? Am I not pretty enough? Am I just that undesirable that I can't find someone to love me? I just don't get it.

I feel like the older I get, the more unlikely I am to every find someone. I'm so scared that I will get so used to being alone that my heart will become hard. I'm afraid that when someone good does come into my life, I won't be able to open my heart up to him and I won't be able to fall in love and have my "happily ever after". I'm so scared that I will die alone and that the rest of my life will be sad and lonely.

So, what do I do? How do I find someone? Do I change myself? Do I lower my standards? Do I change my personality and live a lie? I just don't know what to do.

I know it's been forever since I've posted. Hopefully it won't be so long till the next post... But I make zero promises.